Mm'Kay then

So I guess I didn't really realize how too freaking true my horoscope really is today... I just got some bad news... I can totally understand and I'm not mad at him... I'm more mad at myself for being so freaking excited about finally having a chance to maybe prove myself to someone, and I think that chance is just totally shot. So I really don't know what's next anymore and I wish I could honestly say I don't really care but the bad thing is that I really do care. It sucks like hell! But I should be used to stuff like this... I'll just try to keep my head up and wait for my chance in life right? Wrong pretty much I'm sick of waiting and I don't really feel like holding my head up any more so I'm pretty sure I'm going to let it drop again and just try to move on with life again.... So pretty much I don't exactly want to be where I am right now, and I'm really hoping that I get a text from someone soon to save me from letting myself sulk over something I shouldn't give a dang about.... Why do we let things mean so much to us in life? Why are we able to find something that we love, that we feel we can accomplish some kind of something in and sometimes maybe even seem like we are good at it... and let that Have such an effect on our lives that it just keeps stinging like crap every time you get shot down? Sometimes I really wish that I was dumb enough to myself that I'd take the easy road out of things... Then I think back on my past and I remember how when it wasn't my choice to take that path, how bad my life really sucked. Then I know that I can't take the easy way out, I can't just give up... I'm daddy's feisty little redhead I don't give up and I don't give in right? well most of the time that's how it's been. Sometimes I so wish that I grew up being mommy's little mouse so that when I chose to be that role now it wouldn't seem like I'm just running from something or be a chicken and pull away. Right now I just wish that I could just go curl up in my little 'cubby' at grandma's house and just be by myself and play with my little lite in the socket.... Yeah if only... I can't even fit my legs all the way in my 'cubby' anymore let alone my whole body... So this is where daddy's little redhead comes out and say well see then there is no sense feeling bad anymore when there is nothing you can do about it any further. So here is where I'm going to leave this dumb entry and forget about it.... So Peace. TTYL ~Kim